Ok, so I was watching Master Showman earlier (oh don't judge me, I'm not a book), and I got excited when Kuya Germs's sidekick/boylet John Nite started talking about an "Internet diva" doing a return performance on the show. He was, of course, talking about Alyssa Alano of Keys Me fame
After doing a rendition of The Corrs' "Breathless" (yeah, I know) with her trademark aplomb, Alyssa sat down with the Walang Tulugan crew, where she had to sit there smiling sheepishly as they peppered her with jabs about her previous performance. There was even this exchange between her and Shirley Fuentes (remember her?):
Shirley: "So, Alyssa, may nagbago na ba sa career mo mula nung kumalat yung video sa Internet?"
Alyssa: "Ah marami po... marami po ang natawa."
She was still breathing heavily after her performance (and it *is* a taxing performance, did you see her grinding it during Keys Me?), and now she had to take all this abuse from Kuya Germs and his army of has-beens and starlets. I mean, it's one thing to get ribbed by Joey de Leon on StarTalk (because at least, Joey's cooler than being cool), but having to take all that from John Nite and Shirley fucking Fuentes? She must have been thinking, "Tangina, ang hirap naman kumita ng pera."
(Actually, Alyssa's not bad-looking. She's prettier than, say, Keanna Reeves, and I guess she can't complain about all of these because Keys Me has absolutely made her career. But between Keanna winning PBB earlier this year, and now this, I mean, what the hell's happening to our country?)
While we're on the subject I figured I'd share some of my favorite Kuya Germs-related tidbits:
-- At GMA, employees get to go on a "birthday lunch with the president", where they set up a luncheon for the month's celebrants with the company's president as guest of honor. Kuya Germs always hosts these things (yeah, can you believe he's available, what are the fucking odds?) Anyway, I went for the free lunch last November, and I was having a hard time eating my spaghetti without laughing, because it was such a surreal experience trying to eat spaghetti while Kuya Germs, fifteen feet away from me, was talking in the background, doing a mini-Master Showman.
-- Kuya Germs loves to hang out at the old co-op canteen after his afternoon radio program. It's been renovated now, but it used to be this absolute shithole that everyone endearingly referred to as "Cholera". I saw him once there taking Mark Bautista for a snack after his show, and I remember thinking how Mark Bautista must have gone out of his way to go on his show, only to be treated by Kuya Germs to a bowl of spa-ketchup.
-- There's this Master Showman tarp just outside the GMA Network compound that absolutely kills me. It features the whole crew of the show, with John Nite dressed up as your garden variety New York hipster. I absolutely love it because I have no idea how to react to it. I mean, he probably has a stylist because it's not like he dresses up like a member of The Strokes on Master Showman, right? So what the fuck was the stylist going for there? Am I supposed to go, "Hey, John Nite looks cool in that photo, maybe I should check out Master Showman some time?" Like, who the fuck are they kidding?